God knows why.

God knows how.

God knows when.

God knows where.

God knows what.

I want to know why.

I want to know how.

I want to know when.

I want to know where.

I want to know what.

I am impatiently waiting.

He is patiently waiting.

I am influenced by my sinfulness.

He is influenced by His perfection.

I am unwilling to change even when I need to.

He is unchanging, He doesn’t need to.

I am looking for a way.

He is the way.

I am seeking truth.

He is the truth.

I want more than just to live.

He is life, more abundant life, here and for all eternity.

Still I struggle. What I am and what He is, seem to be at odds.

He knows everything, I know very little.

He controls everything, I control nothing.

He asks me to trust Him, I trust myself.

He offers a better way, I want my way.

He reveals what is true, I like my version of truth.

He offers abundant life, I want to live my own life.

I make Him my opponent but He is on my side.

He offers peace, I put up a fight.

I do things my way, He offers a perfect way.

He offers to sustain me, I do things on my own.

I point to what I have done for Him, He points to the cross.

I have fought the wrong fight, I have run the wrong race.

I want to do it my way.

I want to create my own plan.

I want to go at my speed.

I want to choose who and what I use to make things happen.

I am still far off from what God wants me to be, still far from totally surrendering to Him.

God still loves me.

God still has a plan for me.

God still offers me a better way.

No matter how much or how little I let God take over, He does not give up.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Cor 13:4-7 (NIV)

…God is love. 1 John 4:8 (NIV)