I Am Gideon

Oh how I love this name! When you say it, it just rolls off the tongue without effort and yet it seems to be less poetic and more powerful. Okay enough of my silly musings about the name Gideon. As much as I like it I am not changing my name to Gideon nor am I asking that my grandchildren bear this awesome name that I have fallen in love with. If the name was Bob, a name so simple it can be spelt backward and still be the same (sorry to all the Bobs out there) I would say I am Bob just as I have said in past posts, I am Paul, Mary, Thomas, Samuel, Peter, Adam, Judas, The Rich Young Ruler and  Coca- Cola™ because a part of me is just like Bob, I mean Gideon.

I have been called to fulfill God’s plan.

The call was unmistakeable and my response, well, let’s just say it was more like Gideon’s.

Gideon replied, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me… Judges 6:17(NIV)

I heard God’s call, or at least what I thought was God’s call. It wasn’t as much that I was afraid to live out the call or to step out in faith. My fear stemmed from my understanding of me. I was afraid that I would jump at any chance to do ministry especially one that included music and theatre because I love doing music and theatre and now I could be doing it for God who I also love! Mix what I want to happen with a perceived call from God and I am all over it. To avoid godizing my dreams I asked for a sign. I am Gideon.

If this is what you want me to do…

I have questioned God and I continue to do it to this day. I have heard that it is wrong and I guess you could, in a perfect world, with perfect people, argue that once God has spoken there is no room for questioning. I am not in a perfect world and I am far from perfect. There have been times that God has spoken and I have acted without question. In these cases it was clear that my personal desires were not creating the appearance of God instructing me to pursue an action and my fears and the reality of the situation were not calling into question what I thought I heard. Outside of these situation, I am Gideon.

I think Gideon gets a bad rap.

It isn’t because I think I am like Gideon. I am not trying to defend him and therefore defend me. I believe that Gideon had it right even if he took a long time to come around. If you put yourself in his shoes maybe you would have trouble believing that you had a call from God and a visit from one of his angels.

Gideon, just as the rest of the Israelites, had a deep desire to be rescued from captivity.

Midian so impoverished the Israelites that they cried out to the Lord for help. Judges 6:6 (NIV)

Gideon couldn’t fathom God using him in a mighty way.

The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”

“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” Judges 6:14-15 (NIV)

Gideon fought his own doubts and needed God’s assurance.

 Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised— look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.”  And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.

Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.” That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew. Judges 6:36-40 (NIV)

I am Gideon and before you judge me hear me out.

I am imperfect and weak, capable of acting or not acting based on my own desires and fears. I’d rather question God over and over again because I am not sure I have heard Him right than wrongly assume I have heard Him correctly because I don’t want to question Him over and over again.

10 comments

  1. Dave, I’m just now reading this post. It is so good. I appreciate your transparency of self, inner struggles and letting us get a glimpse of your inside thought processing. I have been there, questioning God not out of doubt but rather wanting clarification, to be certain I’m doing what is right.

    One thing I’ve come to recognize in my own processing is, sometimes the desired clarification or cautiousness to act stems from fear – fear of doing the wrong thing. In that case, I’ve learned I must first address the “fear.” God does not stir fear but the enemy of our souls loves to push and poke us agitating fear. Just silencing or quieting my fear often brings clarity to whatever I am wrestling with.

    Thank you for sharing this great post. I’m so grateful our God looks at the heart and KNOWS our inmost motives.

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  2. Pingback: Guest Post – I Am Gideon | Sandy Kirby Quandt…weaving words of encouragement and hope

  5. Brother Dave, I was especially intrigued by this: “I have questioned God and I continue to do it to this day. I have heard that it is wrong and I guess you could, in a perfect world, with perfect people, argue that once God has spoken there is no room for questioning.”

    I question, not His motives, but more clarification, understanding and I perceive that to be the case with you. Is it wrong? I guess I’m the wrong one to ask because almost 50 years later in ministry I STILL ask Him about things and direction, not so much doubting, just wanting to be sure, yes, like Gideon!

    One thing I have found and experienced and the only thing I can attribute it too; is due to His understanding of who we are individually, His unconditional love for each of us AND His Grace and Mercy applied and that it, when I do step out in faith in an area that He specifically directs me to go, He has ALWAYS blessed me with some form of confirmation. BUT —- ONLY after the fact, AFTER I took the step of faith. I have long past, asked for it, because as the old saying goes, “practice does make perfect” and I have learned that He ALWAYS honors our faith even if we do make a mistake and move ahead when it WASN’T Him. That is the power of faith IN Him! Oh don’t get me wrong, there might be consequences because every action requires a reaction, but His Grace, His Mercy applied, only help to build our faith and our confidence in His ability to set our path before us!!

    Like you, I love the story of Gideon! Must be because when you think of how AWESOME and MARVELOUS the God of all CREATION IS, and you realize you are JUST a part of that creation, you are awed at the prospect of such a Mighty God using us to do something significant. Then again, He IS GOD!!

    Loved the article and love the perspective!

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    1. I so agree – I think there are times that questioning God is wrong but they are the times when we question His character – I am guilty of this sometimes in the heat of the moment although inside I know who He is and I have not abandoned it. I believe God judges the heart – if you are asking because you are unsure and want to get it right I believe He honours that even if the cause is a weak faith – on the other hand if we move forward because we think we understand and we are wrong, unless it is a heart issue of arrogance, I believe as you have commented, the grace of God and the desire of our heart to be obedient leads to a different form of correcting than is used when we think we have it all figured out – the same type that he uses when our weak faith leads to stagnancy and questioning rather than action I guess I am saying it is two sides of the same coin both seek at the root to be obedient and neither desires to serve themselves over God – blessing – I love hearing from you!

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