I Find Myself Wondering

There is no other way to put it. There are no Christianese words that will spiritualize what has taken place and will continue to take place in my Christ following life. Still, I want to feel that this is okay, that what I wonder is just part of being a Christian.

I find myself wondering…

God, did you see that? That type of hurtful treatment can’t be missed. I wonder, could you have overlooked it?

A boy picked on because of his size – a girl harassed because of her outdated clothes.

A teenager bullied online – another tormented at school.

A wife made to feel unloved, a husband made to feel unwanted.

I find myself wondering…

God, did you see that? That type of suffering can’t be missed. I wonder, could you have overlooked it?

Families starving in famine plagued regions.

Towns leveled in hurricane ravaged islands.

Refugees living in tent cities full of disease.

I find myself wondering…

God, did you see that? That type of pain can’t be missed. I wonder, could you have overlooked it?

The young lady that can’t forget that she can’t remember what happened after she took that drink.

The angry and tormented man whose introduction to sex came from an uncle when he was just a boy.

The confused street person whose only respite from the voices in their head is found in a syringe.

I find myself wondering…

God, did you see that? That type of desperation can’t be missed. I wonder, could you have overlooked it?

The cancer patient wasting away as the only treatment available drags them closer to the edge of death.

The person suffering so much from chronic pain or depression that it makes them beg God to take them.

The lonely widow/widower that sits in silence, their life partner gone and the rest of the family too busy.

I find myself wondering…

God, did you see that, could you have overlooked it? I still wonder even though I know the answer.

I do not follow a God who is absent in pain.

I do not follow a God who turns His face away from a hurting world.

I do not follow a God who is too busy to notice what is happening to His creation.

I find myself wondering…

God, did you see that, could you have overlooked it? I still wonder even though I know He hasn’t missed anything.

I am at a loss to explain why some live a long life with little pain.

I am at a loss to explain why some live a long life that seems cursed with physical and emotional pain.

I am at a loss to explain why pain does not choose its victims based on their actions; good and bad alike are not immune.

I find myself wondering…

God, did you see that, could you have overlooked it? Your word tells me you haven’t.

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31 (NIV)

View this passage and much more at BibleGateway.com

I find myself wondering…

God, did you see that, could you have overlooked it? I know what His word says but I still wonder.

Isn’t that what faith causes – wondering?

Isn’t that what living as a Christ follower leads us to do – wonder?

Isn’t that what should cause us to pray – our wondering?

I find myself wondering…

God, I know you saw it. I know you didn’t overlook it. I wonder, what should I do?

‘For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:35-40 (NIV)

View this passage and much more at BibleGateway.com

I find myself wondering…

God, I know you see all. I know you didn’t overlook anything. Still I wonder, why do these things happen to others and to me?

The answer to my wondering I may not know in this lifetime but this I know for sure:

Every day that I suffer when bad things happen, I am one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine”, I am an opportunity for someone to obediently serve God by serving my needs.

Every day that someone else suffers when bad things happen, I have an opportunity to obediently serve God by serving one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine”.

18 comments

  1. I love the oratory nature of this post… powerful and beautifully literary. And I also appreciate your wise conclusion as well as your words in the comments section of this post! I so appreciate your blog! This is a place for “real” Christianity! Love that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I admit, I have wondered some of the same things, some about myself, and some about others I care about. And, I have reached pretty much the same conclusions. God does care. He is not absent. He knows what is going on. He is completely sovereign over all that he has made. We are all made with a purpose in mind. Suffering is part of God’s purpose for his children. Sue

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I truly get that! I am still learning to be thankful in the hard times. But, my Lord keeps reminding me that he has my life in his hands, and so I rest in him, even when I don’t understand.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Dave, that was outstanding. So often we have quick, ignorant answers to life’s tougher questions, until they touch us. Yet, even in our darkest hours, our God is in control and sees clearly in the dark. Thanks for opening that part of your heart and also our thoughts to a deeper exposure to real life.

    Liked by 1 person

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