Humour

Job Openings

We are looking for bright individuals with proven track records in marketing. Successful candidates will have a strong grasp of product presentation to a wide variety of cultural backgrounds. Our North American branch has a long history of serving the community dating back to the first European settlers. Our parent organization has an even longer history which began around 2000 years ago in the area now known as the Middle East, starting in the country we call Israel. Our founder set out to present a new product/service, unlike any other product/service before. His product/service was met with mixed reviews but he did not waver from his plan even under the threat of death.

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Crazy Things You Think About Due To Anesthetic.

Today I will be undergoing the second of two procedures on my neck. These surgeries have become so routine that I can’t remember if I have had 10, 14 or maybe more of them. With two every six months it feels more like a date night (during the day) that involved too much alcohol (I am guessing as my new life in Christ means I haven’t got drunk in a very, very long time). I drive with my wife to the location. We enter the building and sit down to wait for my name to be called, kind of like you do when you have dinner reservations. After about two hours I stagger out with some help from the staff. I lean on my wife and she helps me into the car. She drives me home as I slip in and out of consciousness stopping only for red lights and coffee. With her help, I stagger into the house and lie down. Doesn’t that sound like a date that involved too much to drink?

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Holy S*****!

I have no idea what your first thought was when you read the title but I have to hope it grabbed your attention and caused you to want to dig deeper. I guess if it offended you rather than intrigued you, you wouldn’t have made it this far. If you want to know why I would use “Holy S*****” as a title read on but let me warn you; this post will continue to use coarse language that isn’t often used or its meaning discussed in Christian circles today.

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A Little Understanding – Landscape and Décor (part 3)

A Little Understanding – “How-to” Décor and Staging Books

There are so many decorating styles for your home. There’s Rustic, Contemporary, American Gothic, Eclectic, Hollywood Regency, Arts and Crafts, Cottage, Mid Century Modern, Industrial, Traditional, Minimalist, I could go on and on. Actually, I personally couldn’t go on and on but I could have listed more names I found on the internet. The one thing you will find when it comes to the topic of décor, something is always in and something is always out.

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How did we do today?

I tried to refuse the self-checkout.  I would like to say it was out of some sort of duty to those who will lose their jobs.  It’s not that I’m not sympathetic, that I’m not sad to see people replaced by machines, but if I’m honest with myself, I’m more upset at my loss.  I don’t always trust those machines.  It’s a lot of work for me to make sure that the price that comes up when I scan my item is the right price.  Besides, those machines have no personality.  You don’t get to chat about the weather or politics or any other meaningless topic that comes to mind.  I guess you could try but it would be a one way conversation.  The only thing the machine ever says to me is, “how did we do today?”

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I Wonder What God Thinks.

I wonder what God thinks about the fact I rarely wonder what God thinks. I wonder why I don’t seem to care what He thinks, at least I don’t care enough to ask Him. I wonder what my wife thinks. I wonder what my wife thinks about the fact I rarely wonder what she thinks. I wonder what my kids think. I wonder what my kids think about the fact I rarely wonder what they think. I wonder what other people think. I wonder what other people think about the fact I rarely wonder what other people think. As a matter of fact this may be the first time I have ever wondered what God, my wife, my kids and other people think about the fact I rarely wonder what God, my wife, my kids and other people think.

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