Humour

I’m Pretty Sure My Hair is Calvinist!

It has been a busy week. I only had enough time to repost something I found from years ago. Not much time to reflect, not much time to even take a breath. The lack of oxygen and rest at that time and now, could be the reason that the only moment I had to sit and think led me to come to the conclusion that my hair has its own doctrine.

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Empty People – Empty Churches

I see no need to attend church. I know it sounds crazy coming from a pastor but the truth is I have trouble giving a good reason to show up every Sunday let alone throughout the week. I am referring to the congregation of course, if I don’t show up I won’t have a job.

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Christian Bumper Stickers Linked to Higher Automobile Accident Rate

The link may be weak and the research suspect. The information gathered may be anecdotal and the double-blind study more like a both eyes require reading glasses for the small print. Still I believe that I can connect bumper stickers bearing common Christian sayings with a sharp increase in collisions involving the vehicle with said sticker and/or the vehicle driven by an individual who read said sticker.

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Midlife Crisis and the Bible.

There comes a time in every man’s life that he realizes he is no longer what he once was. His hair grows faster and thicker than it once did, unfortunately it has migrated south finding its way from the top of his head to the ears and nose, chest and back and anywhere else that hair once avoided growing in large quantities. His once bulging biceps now swing in the wind as he raises his arms. What were once called triceps continue to wave long after he stops waving. What he once considered physical features of the fairer sex have now become the unfair features of the middle aged man. He has developed breasts and appears to be 6 months pregnant and has acid reflux and a constant need to urinate to match. There is only one way to address this, only one cure for this crisis, get a new mode of transportation.

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Flyfeelitis (flī– fēl -īdəs)

Flyfeelitis (flī– fēl -īdəs): the overwhelming urge to touch one’s zipper to ensure that it is in the up position. The origin of this disease can be traced back to the inclusion of the first zipper in men’s pants however, not all men who wear pants suffer from this disease. Researchers hypothesize that those who suffer from this disease acquired it during a traumatic incident involving the individual being discovered in a public setting with their fly undone. This disease is habitual and although annoying and difficult to cure, it can contribute to avoiding further incidents in which the sufferer is caught with his zipper down.

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A Little Understanding – Above Ground – Humble Prayer

A Little Understanding – Connect to the Foundation & Footings

In my days, as a world-renowned scientist, well not so much days, more like hours. Well not so much hours, but instead it felt like hours when I had the dream. Okay, I really know very little about science, but I do know that this little thing called gravity cannot be defied while living on the earth. When a plane takes off, it must have more power from the engines and lift from the wings than the force exerted by gravity. It flies not because it defies gravity, but instead it overcomes the force until it runs out of fuel. Once it is out of fuel, gravity, the law that no plane can defy, does what gravity does: it pulls the plane back to earth. It is the same with our Christian walk. We can hold up the basic day-to-day living of a Christ follower’s life. We can hold up the day-to-day operations and programs in the collective of Christ followers. The problem is, we were not designed to defy the laws of spiritual gravity.

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