Strange as it seems I have nothing to say. This is strange for two reasons. The first reason; I am never at a loss for words. The second reason; there are no limits to the application of God’s word. Yet still, I am at my desk racking my brain for something to say, something that will have meaning, something that will be worth reading. How is it possible that I have exhausted the complete Holy Spirit inspired 66 books of the Bible?
I am surrounded with inspiration.
I cannot hide from God. Even if I am in a room full of people He still sees me. I cannot hide from sin. Even if I am in a room all by myself sin still finds me. God’s interaction with His creation once a bite of a piece of fruit ruined it, has been all about addressing sin. God’s laws of the Old Testament point out sin and invited His creation to repent. God’s plan for redemption brought to completion in the New Testament points again to the sin we all have and invite all to repent. If all have sinned and all are offered salvation, there must be billions of stories to be told, billions of situations to be addressed. Yet still, I am at my desk racking my brain for something to say.
I have to start somewhere and say something.
Maybe a reminder of God’s unconditional love is a great place to start. It never hurts to bring up the undeserved mercy followers of Christ experience. Add the unmatched power, His limitless capacity to change the unchangeable, His place outside of time and the fact that all He has to do is speak and it happens and I think I have covered almost everything. Yet still, I am at my desk racking my brain for something to say.
It is an awful empty feeling.
I read my Bible. I pray. I listen to worship songs. I observe the beauty of nature. I enjoy my relationships with those God has placed in my life. I have so much going on, so much to be thankful for but I still feel empty. Nothing seems to jump out at me. Nothing seems to set off emotion. Nothing seems to motivate me. Nothing seems to inspire me. I am still at my desk racking my brain for something to say.
What is missing, what have I overlooked?
My faith is placed in the only true God. My eternal life is secure in Him. I have what I have and lack what I lack because He is executing His perfect plan. God has not lost control. God has not abandoned me. God remains sovereign ruler of the universe who isn’t too busy to be bothered with me. He shares every moment of every day with me. He desires a deeper relationship with me, a sometimes moody, sometimes off the wall, sometimes sullen, sometimes flaky, sometimes legalistic, sometimes argumentative, sometimes too much of a people pleaser, little imperfect me. Yet still, I am at my desk racking my brain for something to say.
Maybe I haven’t missed anything while missing everything.
His love is immeasurable. His grace and mercy unstoppable. His power inconceivable. His reach limitless. His perfection undeniable. Yet still, I am at my desk racking my brain for something to say. Even after all I have said so far in the post, see I told you, “I am never at a loss for words,” I still have nothing to say. I must be missing something, actually I think I am missing just about everything.
To know is not the same as to experience.
I know that I know that God is real and that He is everything that I have included in this post and so much more but that is not enough. It is the limits of knowledge that leaves me with a lot of words on a page but nothing to say. Maybe it’s the seasonal winter blues or maybe it is just a season of life but I am struggling to go beyond the emotionless truth.
I don’t know if you have been through the same. Maybe you are going through it right now. It’s not that my faith has changed but rather my response, my emotional connection to what I know to be true seems to have been severed. I do not base what I believe and how I live out what I believe on how I feel but I, at least in the past, have felt so much because I was living out what I believe.
So I have nothing more to say other than I want to once again go beyond what I know and…
Taste and see that the Lord is good… Psalm 34:8 (NIV)
We all spend time in the desert. That increases our thirst for God, and strengthens our faith. We must proceed on trust and the knowledge of Him — His goodness, His kindness, His faithfulness — not on the basis of constantly fluctuating feelings. ❤
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Maybe you could start marking on your Bible or journaling some thoughts that come to mind when you are reading. I sometimes get ideas from flipping through my Bible and seeing passages I marked and words I wrote in the margins!
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I need to do that more – thanks for the suggestion
I think sometimes Bible reading can feel like digging for water in a dry and dusty land. It can sometimes be a long hard slog, but when we reach that spiritual thirst quenching goodness, it’s so refreshing. I pray you get showered with blessings from God’s word and that this dry time would be very short lived!
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