I wonder what God thinks about the fact I rarely wonder what God thinks. I wonder why I don’t seem to care what He thinks, at least I don’t care enough to ask Him. I wonder what my wife thinks. I wonder what my wife thinks about the fact I rarely wonder what she thinks. I wonder what my kids think. I wonder what my kids think about the fact I rarely wonder what they think. I wonder what other people think. I wonder what other people think about the fact I rarely wonder what other people think. As a matter of fact this may be the first time I have ever wondered what God, my wife, my kids and other people think about the fact I rarely wonder what God, my wife, my kids and other people think.

I’m not sure why this happened.

It could be age. It could be a change of focus. It could be a lack of focus. It could be the pace at which life goes by. It could be a lack of time to reflect. It could be a lack of desire to reflect. It could be a self-centred approach to life. It could be an unplanned approach to life. I could go on and on about the possible causes of my lack of interest in what other people think but in the end if I don’t seem to care what others think you most likely don’t care what I think.

I’m not sure when this started happening.

I think it might have come on quite quickly but then again it could have happened over time. I may have started this behaviour in rebellion against my parents although it is possible it started after I got married. I may have developed this “skill” because, when it all comes down to it, what my young children thought was irrelevant to my decisions that kept them safe and healthy but it is also possible this same “skill” was the only reason I kept my sanity once my kids became teenagers. In the end if I didn’t seem to care what others think you most likely don’t care what I think.

I’m not sure how to address it.

I guess I could start caring what others think, the problem is I don’t want to spend my life trying to please everyone. I guess I could allow time for others to give their input but I don’t want to give them the impression that what they think carries more weight than it really does. I guess I could invite dialogue and discussion on matters that affect others, it could be beneficial, at least it could make me look more caring, but what if caring means doing the opposite of what they want. I guess if this wondering what others think doesn’t work I could go back to not seeming to care what others think and you can stop caring what I think.

I know where I will start.

First, my wife. Wondering what my wife thinks could eliminate those occasions, as rare as they are, that I make a mistake. Certainly asking her for her opinion would help set the tone for a better relationship even if most of the time I already have it all figured out.

Second, my kids. Wondering what my kids think could bring a more diverse point of view. I am not old by any stretch of the imagination, but I guess they may be able to add something from their generation to the conversation. Certainly asking them for their opinion would help set the tone for a better relationship even if most of the time I already have it all figured out.

Third, other people. Wondering what other people think could give me a better idea of how I am viewed. I mean, I don’t really care if they think of me in a positive light but hey, maybe I could become a little more in tune with the world around me. Certainly asking them for their opinion would help set the tone for a better relationship even if most of the time I already have it all figured out.

Fourth, God. Wondering what God thinks could eliminate those occasions, as rare as they are, that I make a mistake, bring a more diverse point of view and give me a better idea of how I am viewed. Certainly asking Him for His opinion would help set the tone for a better relationship even if most of the time I already have it all figured out.

I wonder what God thinks now?

I wonder what my wife, my kids and other people think now? My guess is they are all thinking that I should start wondering what is wrong with the way I think. To not wonder what my wife, kids, other people and God think is arrogant and isolating. I can’t do life on my own but this type of arrogance means I am doing life all by myself. Although unlikely, it is possible I have it all figured out, the only problem is, I will never know if I don’t wonder what others think.

If I am unwilling to wonder what the people in my life think, I am highly unlikely to wonder what God thinks which means I must think I have it all figured out.

Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.