We are looking for bright individuals with proven track records in marketing. Successful candidates will have a strong grasp of product presentation to a wide variety of cultural backgrounds. Our North American branch has a long history of serving the community dating back to the first European settlers. Our parent organization has an even longer history which began around 2000 years ago in the area now known as the Middle East, starting in the country we call Israel. Our founder set out to present a new product/service, unlike any other product/service before. His product/service was met with mixed reviews but he did not waver from his plan even under the threat of death.
His unwavering commitment is the model for our organization.
Eventually our founder was killed because of the product/service he presented. His death was short lived (approximately 3 days) at which point he came back to life. This demonstration of life after death established his product/service as one-of-a-kind. After he came back to life he left his position as the face of the organization but still heads it up from a remote location. When he left he promised an invisible helper to assist those who became supporters of his product/service so that they could present the product/service to others. To this day our organization has continued with its commitment to tell as many people as possible about the product/service we so deeply embrace and welcome anyone who wishes to join our organization.
Over time we have adapted our founder’s methods to better market the product/service.
We have engaged in numerous relaunches of our product/service over past 2000 years through our many distributors which we refer to as denominations. The brave and yet dangerous and often offensive marketing strategies of our founder and those who have continued the organization’s legacy have caused us to rethink our marketing strategies to address the ebb and flow of our product/service over the years. We have reevaluated our organization’s exclusivity created by the founder and his early contemporaries’ codes of conduct. This process has led to the decision to change from an all are welcome but all are expected to make the necessary changes to match the codes of conduct to an all are welcome no change required policy to attract more people to our product/service.
Our North American branch is replacing a long time member of our team.
As we continue to modernize our organization we will be saying good-bye to a long time member of our team. This member has been a part of the organization since its formation close to 2000 years ago. He will be replaced by individuals whose primary responsibility will be to market and train others to market our product/service through our various divisions in North American. If we are successful with this ambitious restructuring plan, opportunities to advance in the organization will exist for those we will be hiring. Our goal is to expand this marketing strategy from the North American branch to other branches throughout the world.
If you are interested in these opportunities…
…please check with your local product/service depot (church) to see when they or their division (denomination) will be enacting these new marketing changes. It is our intent to have every local product/service grow through this new marketing plan. We would like to thank the Holy Spirit for his many years of service and wish him well in his new endeavors.
All successful candidates are required to remove the following verse from their Bibles and agree never to speak of it again.
“…But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8 (NIV)
Sadly, this modernization has already taken place.
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😦
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Wow
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Took me a while to get😂😂 then I saw he raised back to life after 3 days and everything just clicked. Good one!
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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I’m speechless. Also sharing on my FB page.
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thanks so much
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Love it!!! 😀
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thank you – hope pople will read it instead of putting it aside thinking that they don’t need a job 😉
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I shared it on my FB page! This stuff is REALLY good, and so sad at the same time. 😦
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😦 🙂
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