humor

The Epistle of Jeremiah the Prophet to the Modern Church – Perfect Children

“I hope your children treat you the same way you treat us, then you will understand,” is something many parents say to their kids. As a kid I thought to myself, “I hope so too.” I knew that I was the best example of what it is to be the perfect son. Unlike my parents I had a complete understanding of how the world worked and the appropriate behavior for said world. I was rarely wrong and when I was wrong the cause rested solely on the actions of my sister or my parents. When raising my kids I dreamed that they too would be perfect like me because I only did wrong when my parents and sister caused me to do wrong. I came the conclusion that I, as a perfect kid, would become a perfect parent and therefore could not cause my kids to do wrong. Also, I as a perfect parent, could not raise children in a way that could cause their siblings to do wrong.

(more…)

I’m Pretty Sure My Hair is Calvinist!

It has been a busy week. I only had enough time to repost something I found from years ago. Not much time to reflect, not much time to even take a breath. The lack of oxygen and rest at that time and now, could be the reason that the only moment I had to sit and think led me to come to the conclusion that my hair has its own doctrine.

(more…)

Christian Bumper Stickers Linked to Higher Automobile Accident Rate

The link may be weak and the research suspect. The information gathered may be anecdotal and the double-blind study more like a both eyes require reading glasses for the small print. Still I believe that I can connect bumper stickers bearing common Christian sayings with a sharp increase in collisions involving the vehicle with said sticker and/or the vehicle driven by an individual who read said sticker.

(more…)

Midlife Crisis and the Bible.

There comes a time in every man’s life that he realizes he is no longer what he once was. His hair grows faster and thicker than it once did, unfortunately it has migrated south finding its way from the top of his head to the ears and nose, chest and back and anywhere else that hair once avoided growing in large quantities. His once bulging biceps now swing in the wind as he raises his arms. What were once called triceps continue to wave long after he stops waving. What he once considered physical features of the fairer sex have now become the unfair features of the middle aged man. He has developed breasts and appears to be 6 months pregnant and has acid reflux and a constant need to urinate to match. There is only one way to address this, only one cure for this crisis, get a new mode of transportation.

(more…)

Flyfeelitis (flī– fēl -īdəs)

Flyfeelitis (flī– fēl -īdəs): the overwhelming urge to touch one’s zipper to ensure that it is in the up position. The origin of this disease can be traced back to the inclusion of the first zipper in men’s pants however, not all men who wear pants suffer from this disease. Researchers hypothesize that those who suffer from this disease acquired it during a traumatic incident involving the individual being discovered in a public setting with their fly undone. This disease is habitual and although annoying and difficult to cure, it can contribute to avoiding further incidents in which the sufferer is caught with his zipper down.

(more…)

Job Openings

We are looking for bright individuals with proven track records in marketing. Successful candidates will have a strong grasp of product presentation to a wide variety of cultural backgrounds. Our North American branch has a long history of serving the community dating back to the first European settlers. Our parent organization has an even longer history which began around 2000 years ago in the area now known as the Middle East, starting in the country we call Israel. Our founder set out to present a new product/service, unlike any other product/service before. His product/service was met with mixed reviews but he did not waver from his plan even under the threat of death.

(more…)