…for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health until death do us part. I have kept my vows, at least most of them. Well, maybe only half of them but it’s not my fault.

I tried to keep them all…

…but things happened that were out of my control. I didn’t mean for them to happen. I didn’t mean to make my marriage less than what it should be, it just happened. My wife says she’s okay with the way things are but we both agree we wish things were different, that I could have kept up all, or at least the majority, of the vows I took.

She’s not leaving, at least that is what she has told me.

I’m not trying to make her look bad. Quite frankly, anyone who would stay with someone who only keeps half of their promises in my books is a great person. She says she will stay and knowing the type of person she is, I believe her. Still, a little voice in my head says why? Why would anyone remain in a partnership that fails to meet the expectations fifty percent of the time?

I don’t want to brag but I have done very well at the vows I have kept.

I have done the “worse”, the “poorer”, and I have exceled at the sickness. I have failed to give her the “better”, the “richer”, and the “health” – I’ve tried but it appears I’m not good at these three things. I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I have not died and we are still together, so it appears the until death part I am good at. I have done great at the things I am good at. I have been very successful at fifty percent of the things that I promised to do when I said, “I do.”

The church is the bride of Christ and…

… we as believers are the church. I never had a formal or informal ceremony which included the “until death do us part” vows when I started my relationship with Jesus but maybe I should have said them. Ignoring the theological issue of “until death do us part” because death is actually the part that brings Jesus and each believer even closer together, I think maybe these vows should be a part of the way I approach my lifelong relationship with Him.

I have given Jesus my worse, poorer, and sickness.

I would like to believe that I would also give Him my better, richer, and health if I had them although I am pretty sure my sinful side that I should have completely given Him would want to keep them.

It was eight months ago that I thought I got His worse.

I thought I was keeping my vows. I was giving God my better during a time of average wealth, not richer or poorer and while I was not healthy, I was still functioning in my sickness. So, for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and health I was doing my part and I thought God was about add some better, richer, and, well, health is something I haven’t had in a long time and don’t really worry about.

During my last 3 months at a transitional pastor position, another church called me about walking with them on their transitional journey. The first interview went well and the second I felt went just as well. It seemed like a sure thing. I thought for the first time since I started transitional pastoring, I would not have to wait in between contracts. I found out at the end of my interview that they were going to hold an interview with someone else a month later. I was a little taken aback, it was unexpected, but I wasn’t worried, after all things had gone very well and I was finishing a very successful transition.  Besides that, they called me out of the blue so it must have been a God thing. I didn’t get the job. That was okay, I had been excited about it, even allowed myself to believe I would get it but it didn’t matter, I had another church interested. It turns out after talking to them, they didn’t need a transitional pastor, they had already done all that work, they needed to hire their next pastor.

I had given God my best, but He seemed to be giving me…

His worse and now I was going to get the poorer as well. Then everything fell apart, I got the sickness part of the vow too. Okay, I was already sick. I had already accepted that I would have to use a wheelchair and/or leg braces. I had to suck it up and get rid of my ego. I had accepted that and was actually looking forward to learning how to live with my disability. By the time I finished my transitional position which would also have been the time I started the new job if I had of been hired, I was very sick. God seemed to be taking away the better, and richer replacing it with more sickness.

What if the worse, the poorer, and the sickness was…

…the way to the better, the richer, and the health? If I had of been hired at either church just as I started, I would have had to quit. In any transition the last thing a church needs is to have the pastor they hired, because the pastor before left, leave. Add to that my mother who lives with us has needed more and more care and sick me was now at home to help.

Maybe, the worse, the poorer and the sickness is part of the better, the riches and the health that God is working in your life. The question is do I/we trust Him until death do us unite for all eternity?

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. Romans 8:28-29 (NIV)