Sometimes it seems that my hurt is too much for God. I know that no theology supports this conclusion. I know that the messages I have heard in no way mirror this idea. I know that the Christians in my life would never propose this as even close to a biblical truth. Still, it seems possible, maybe even true, because sometimes it feels like my pain is too much for God.
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No, I didn’t spell the title wrong. Yes, I could have spelt Acts “Ax” and gave it a perfectly suited title for this post at least. Yes, for some I also could have used the word “Ask” and while the meaning would be different unlike the interchangeability I am aiming for between “Acts” and “AX” if read out loud the same word would be heard, acts or ax. It’s time to rethink church by taking Acts to it which, if my premise is accepted, we will take an ax to many of the things we call church.
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This isn’t anything new, I don’t sleep well most nights. A good night’s sleep for me is 4-5 hours and if I am lucky, no washroom interruptions somewhere in the middle. I don’t sleep during the day even after the few nights a week where sleep is limited to 2-3 hours and not all in a row. So why bring it up? Why call this blog post, “I Couldn’t Sleep Last Night”? Last night was different. A change in my pain medication meant I was free of the worst part of the pain I usually experience. As a matter of fact, one of the things that kept me awake was me wondering why I didn’t feel quite myself. What was different? In my world, a change in pain can be as unnerving as the worst pain I experience. So, I’m awake; now what?
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I am not sure where I heard it said that guilt is a useless emotion. It could have been the always brilliant and insightful daytime talk show hosts. Maybe it was a talk radio interview. It also could have been a TV drama or a blockbuster movie. All I know is it seemed to make sense at the time. I am follower of Christ. I’m sure it wasn’t a Christian source but still I am forgiven and my sins are as far as the east is from the west ( Psalm 103:12NIV)so guilt must be a useless emotion, right?
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…for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health until death do us part. I have kept my vows, at least most of them. Well, maybe only half of them but it’s not my fault.
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I know a lot of stuff. I’m not bragging, you know a lot of stuff too! We all know a lot of stuff. That doesn’t make us smart and, unless applied correctly, it doesn’t even make us competent. Our brains are full of stuff. The smartest people in the world have additional stuff in comparison to us average people. The rest of us, the less smart and even lesser smart people know stuff. The truly wise people, they know stuff too but there is something more, something different about the stuff they know or at least to the way that stuff is incorporated in their lives.
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