I Am Judas

Not a name most would like to call themselves but I am Judas. You may be thinking I am the other Judas, not Iscariot but the one mentioned in John 14:22 but that is not what I am saying. I am Judas, Judas Iscariot. In case you have not been following the “I am _______” series (I am Mary, Thomas, Samuel Peter and Adam) I want to assure you that I have not suffered some sort of mental illness that causes me to think I am anyone and possibly everyone other than Dave. I am Dave Peever but for this post I must state that I am Judas.

I have been called by Jesus.                                                                                 

I entered Bible college all excited; I was going to be a pastor. I was called and nothing could stop me. I may not have been the best student or the best example of a Christ follower but that didn’t matter, I was one of them. Life had meaning and goals, all I had to do was finish out my 3 years of training and I would be able to fulfill my calling. No longer would I be a student among students but rather I would be able to make a name for myself. I was Judas.

Money and position were important.

Summer break came and it was time to work, time to make money. It felt good to have cash in my pocket and a place to contribute. I was needed at work and I was rewarded at work. Position and profit soon called louder than commitment and Christ following. It didn’t matter who called me or what they called me to do, I had new meaning in life and new goals. I was Judas.

I didn’t leave the group, just backed off.

I didn’t return to Bible college, instead I pursued a career that had nothing to do with my calling. I’m not sure what others thought. I figure many saw me at church and assumed that my commitment to Jesus had not changed just my choice of how to live it out. I lived one way when Christians were looking so as to gain their approval while living totally different when they were not around so I could feed my lust for money and worldly position. I was Judas.

The only one I was truly fooling was me.

Maybe others thought I was still a follower of Christ but I would have to say that as time went on people stopped seeing me that way. They may not have written me off but it was becoming apparent that I was not the man I tried to trick people into thinking I was. The truth is I am not sure anyone was falling for my act although they all treated me the same as before. I had sold my relationship with Jesus for money and the approval of others and somehow I fooled myself into thinking He didn’t know. I was Judas.

Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over. Matthew 26:14-16 (NIV)

 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” John 13:27 (NIV)

I may not have handed Jesus over to be killed but it isn’t beyond me to kill Him off in my everyday actions so that I can gain wealth and the approval of those who do not follow Him. I am Judas.

14 comments

  1. Thank you Dave. This applies to everyone everyday everywhere. I sell Jesus for the approval of men far too often and I repent daily. I am Judas. I praise God that his mercies are new everyday. I pray for strenght in Jesus name.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love these, “I am’ series. So poignant and loaded with sage advise. (all move my emotions to profoundly think about each, “I am’, Mary, Thomas, Samuel Peter, Adam and now Judas”).

    Thank you. May God continue to inspire you. Be blessed.

    Liked by 2 people

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