I see no need to attend church. I know it sounds crazy coming from a pastor but the truth is I have trouble giving a good reason to show up every Sunday let alone throughout the week. I am referring to the congregation of course, if I don’t show up I won’t have a job.
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My memory has been failing me ever since I can remember. That being said, the fact my memory has been failing me could mean that my memory of my memory could also be failing me. If my memory of my memory is failing me, then my memory of my memory failing me could actually be a failed memory meaning my memory isn’t failing me. Of course if my memory of my memory is failing me when I incorrectly remember that my memory is failing me, then my memory is failing me about my memory failing me even though my memory wasn’t failing me. Wow! I’m so confused by this opening paragraph that I am having trouble remembering what I was writing about. Don’t give up on reading. If my failing memory about my failing memory is actually a failed memory, then I will be able to remember what I am writing about!
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Flyfeelitis (flī– fēl -īdəs): the overwhelming urge to touch one’s zipper to ensure that it is in the up position. The origin of this disease can be traced back to the inclusion of the first zipper in men’s pants however, not all men who wear pants suffer from this disease. Researchers hypothesize that those who suffer from this disease acquired it during a traumatic incident involving the individual being discovered in a public setting with their fly undone. This disease is habitual and although annoying and difficult to cure, it can contribute to avoiding further incidents in which the sufferer is caught with his zipper down.
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For those who have already fired up your search engines or copied a link from your favorite creation website; hold your horses. As much as I would like to debate 6 day creation (not really), evolutionary traits in nature (not my thing), and Darwin vs the Bible (not smart enough), this is a post about church change over the years not biological change over millions of years. If you are still all worked up over evolution in the church, would it help if I made it clear I am against evolution in church?
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If you listen closely you will hear this question echoing through the rooms in every church. If you really open your ears you will hear more than just the words, you will sense the desperation. If you linger long enough you will experience the undeniable nudging of God to do something. If you respond. If your fellow Christ followers choose to act. If your collect of Christ followers makes it their vision. Something new, something fresh, something sacrificial takes over the very being of who we are as individuals and as a collective of people who follow the Son of God.
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Now that I have your attention let me make it clear, I do not have bodies buried in my basement. I have not started to run naked through crowded shopping malls. I am not responsible for the disappearance of family pets in any neighborhood I have lived in or for that matter any neighborhood that I have walked, driven or cycled through. I have not gone on any long winded, irrational, disjointed rambling rants although I do preach so someone might disagree with this one. That being said I am still very disturbed…
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